Life without meds

About a month ago, I stopped taking my prozac cold turkey. I had been on it for only about 2.5 months. I was having major anxiety and insomnia. As soon as I stopped taking it, that went away, and I felt better.

In the last week, the depression and grief have slowly crept back in. I have felt more like myself again, which I guess is extremely emotional, no matter what point of my cycle I am in. I have felt angry, resentful, and frustrated. Reconnecting with someone whom I haven’t spoken to since one of my loved ones passed away may or may not have dredged some stuff up.

I strive to be someone who does not need to depend on any substances to survive. However, my extreme sensitivities to life here on earth make that difficult. I feel better in the sense that I can feel all of my emotions again, but worse in the sense that I am struggling to cope with the tsunami of emotions that have been hitting me.

Some people say, “just take the medications so it can help you feel less depressed and less sad,” and to that I say, why can’t society adapt to letting people feel their emotions and not always be happy and cheerful 24/7? I don’t know…it’s a double-edged sword.

Sometimes I feel crazy because my emotions quite literally run my life.

They always have, but with grief, it adds an extra layer.

There’s so much rage that lives inside of me.

I know a lot of healthy coping skills, but they take time.

Our society and lifestyles don’t favor time.

Society favors fast, quick, push under the rug, and keep going.

That’s how most of us were taught, right?

But where has that gotten us?